"Barbie🛍" Spoiler Review

Previous Animated Entries: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Barbie_films NOTE: This Film Was NOT Made
For Modern Gen-Y OR Gen-Z Girls.
As It Takes Place in 1993 &
Contains #Homage's To 70's-90's &
is FILLED with #AdultHumor!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie_(film) Yes, The 1st 3-Minutes Was
PURE AWESOMENESS; Smash
Those Big Dumb Doll Babies👶!
Then The Next Minute Was
SHEER TERROR😱. Then Back To
Being Cool😎By Explaining How NO
ONE RLY Liked Preggo🤰Midge😂Doll.

Ken: "I Can Totally Beach🌴You Off"
SimuLiu: "Only in Your Dreams, Ken."
Ken: "👐; Why Don't You
Go Beach🌴YOURSELF OFF?"
#SimuLiu: "I Can Beach🌴 BOTH
Of You Off At The Same Time!"
Barbie🛍: "NO ONES GONNA BEACH🌴 ANYONE-OFF, OKAY👌!"
DocBabe:"It's Not Broken💔 At All.
(Pats Head) And What A GOOD
JOB You Do At The Beach🌴!"
Barbie🛍: "OMG; I Could Die...Dancing💃!
SimuLiu: (Flips) "Betcha Can't
Do A Move Like THAT, Ken!"
DocBabe: "Hurry-Up You Two...
(Grining) The Presidents Here!"
Barbie🛍: (in-Bed🛌) "Night-Night
Barbies...I'm Totally NOT🚫 Thinking
About Death⚰️Anymore!"

(Then The Next Morning🌄,
EVERYTHING Goes Wrong...)
Barbie🛍: "I Can't Fit Into My Heels?"
DocBabe: (DeepVoice) "FLAT FEET👣!"
(Another #Barbie🛍 Tells The Story
Of A ONCE Perfect Barbie🛍 Which
Had Been Tortured By Her Girl).
Cue: "Spice Up Your Life" Song.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/22/business/barbie-dolls-weird-launches/index.html
UglyBarb: "What's Cooking,
Good Looking? Welcolme To My
WeirdHouse...Sorry About The Dog🐕
Crap💩. What Can I Do For You?"
Barbie🛍: "I Uh...Have #FlatFeet👣 &
Well (Whispers) Thoughts Of Death⚰️."
UglyBarb: "THOUGHTS OF DEATH ⚰️.
Sounds Like YOU'VE Opened A
Portal🌀 & NOW There's A Rift➰
Between The Continuum🌌 Of
#BarbieWorld & #TheRealWorld🌎!"
(UglyBarb Convinces Matrix-Style,
Then Offers Her A Morphing Car🚗🚤)

Construction👷Workers: (Whistle)
"Hey Babe, How You Doin'?"
Barbie🛍: "I Am Here To Inform
You That I DO NOT Have A Vagina🍑,
Oh & He DOES NOT Have A Penis🍌
Either. WE DO NOT Have #Genitals🍓."
Ken: "Wait...No, I-I Have Genitals🍒!"
#Construction👷Workers: "Hey Man...
That's Okay👍. You Do You✌!"
Basicly The 1st 33-Minutes
Was PURE Pink💗Awesomeness!
(Including: #HariNef As DocBabe
& #JohnCena🏋As Merman🧜🏼‍♂️; Ken)

(BTW; OldLady On Bench Was
Costume👘Designer; #AnnRoth!)
https://www.huffpost.com/entertainment/topic/greta-gerwig,
Allthough EVERYTHING Involving
The #Mattel Aspect; Including
Ruined Some Parts Of The Film! EXCEPT:
For "Ken's #MojoDojo CasaHouse🏠"
It Suffers The EXACT Same
Problem As #Ghostbusters 2016;
Yep, #KateMcKinnon...WHY??

Alan, Sasha & #WeirdBarbie Ruined
The Rest & Yet The Ken Dance-Off's
Give #Xanadu A Run For It's Glory!
Of Note: #RheaPearlman Plays
#RuthHandler: Barbie🛍 & Ken's
Creator, Who Literally Named
Them After Her 2-Children.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruth_Handler, Though Her Son DID Have
Offspring👪; He Was Unsure Of
His Own #SexualIdentity👬 &
He Sadly😣Died Of AIDS💉in 1994.

Allthough It DOES Have A
VERY CLEAR Message: Find YOUR
OWN Unique & Individual Identity.
Don't Let Some Lame #Corperate
Suit👔Tell You How To Dress👘.
While "Ideas & Items #Outlive Us,
We Only Have One Life To Live."
But Still, "WE Are ALL #Kenough".

"TransFormers X GIJOE; The Sting🦂Of Serpentor🐍"

Director Steven Caple Jr. says "G.I. Joe" Reveal Was Deemed So Classified, That He IntentionallyLeft It OUt Of the Film During Early "Test Screenings".

"We Been showing ALOT Of People A Whole Different Ending Which Wasn't Even 'G.I. Joe' AT ALL," Says Caple, Who Brought "Joe" Into The Script About Two-and-A-Half Years Back.

Transformers and G.I. Joe Had Already Crossed-Over in a Limited ComicBooks Published By Marvel in 1987. So Caple Pitched Di Bonaventura The Idea. The Producer Said That They Had BEEN TRYING to Merge These Two Sets of Characters together for Some Time. They Were Just Looking for the Right Moment.

"Frankly, Since The First [Transformers] Movie The Fans Have Been Saying, 'Please Put in G.I. Joes,' " He Recalls. "We Were Like, 'Well...That's A Great Idea For the Future. In Two Or Three Movies, We Should Definitely DO THAT.' Then It Lost Along The Way."


He Was Especially Excited About The Tech-Heavy "Joe" Franchise, Which Has Incorporated MANY Devices Such As The Transector (Powermaster) Exoskeleton; https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transformers:_Super-God_Masterforce An "Accelerator Suit" That Would Seamlessly Blend-In with The "Transformers" World. "There's ALOT Of Gears To Workout in Combining BOTH These Franchises," Says Caple.
http://www.youtube.com/ve8tYdW-9OI,
Lorenzo DiBonaventura, Who Co-Produces BOTH "G.I.JOE & "Transformers" Film Series, Says He has Been Searching For ANY Method To Bridge These Worlds Together & "Rise of the Beasts" Has Just Given An Open Door🚪. https://youtu.be/17D84hfDNVY

"We Constructed This Story Where This Guy; Noah's Emotional Journey Involves Not Catching A Break; Getting A Job, So The Greatest Payoff WOULD Actually BE Working For G.I. Joe." http://www.youtube.com/XjsL6k9yqpg

Caple ALSO Stated That Various Producers Who Oversee These Franchises; Paramount, Hasbro, Even Producers #StevenSpielberg, Bay, Santos & MORE − HAD TO Sign-Off On It.

#Electronics Expert; #NoahDiaz (#Firefly) & His Buddy; Mirage Has Been Working Deep Undercover in Ukraine🇺🇦, While Mirage Had Befriended These Sleek Sports Cars; Not Noticing Small Decepticon Insignias in Odd Locations. Meanwhile... #Destro & #TheBaroness Was Working Hand-in-Hand with TheKremlin To Help Develop Project: #Menasor! (Unknown To Them, That Megatron Was ALSO Involved, Along with #CobraCommander!) Thor's Grandfather; Bor's Helmet👷WILL BE The Basis For
Serpentor in #TFvGIJOE.
https://comicvine.gamespot.com/serpentor/4005-11037/ BTW; Agent Burke's REAL ID Was Revealed To Be: Joesph Colton!

"Beast WARS; The Dawn Of Unicron👹"

NOT Nessisarily Speculitive! For ANYONE NOT Believing That Bay HIMSELF Disliked #TheLastKnight & IS DIRECTLY Involved with Wanting To Do An Evergreen Sequel, Which Ties EVERYTHING TOGETHER! (Even MeganFox Was Originally Set To Appear in #DarkOfTheMoon But Her Anti-Semitic Remarks Were TOO MUCH For #Spielberg!) https://youtu.be/gTbOBL5CEhc, Sorry...JackBurns Was S7 & Despite Fans & Cena Wishing For A Connection, There Isn't. https://screenrant.com/gi-joe-john-cena-duke-theory-producer-response/ HOWEVER...Porter C. Powell (ALSO Seen in Bumblebee🐝), Along with #PrometheusBlack ARE Being Considered For Sequel. https://youtu.be/gRGkUMHxdag, https://youtu.be/trDURy1tORI, https://youtu.be/itnqEauWQZM, https://youtu.be/KhytnG5lZEQ Writers Have MORE Control Then Directors; Who Are HIRED By Producers! What Does It Mean To Produce? Well...To CREATE! A Director ONLY Gives Direction Such As: "Stand Here & Look Angry" Bumblebee Started-Off As A Prequel, THEN When #TravisKnight Added The Intro, HE Wanted It To Be A Reboot. But VAST Producers, Paramont and Even Hasbro Wanted To Keep Continuity; In-Order To Maintain Toy Sales... TRUTH: As THAT'S The ENTIRE POINT Of Transformers; To Sell Toys!! (#TravisKnight ONLY Directed Bee🐝 & THIS ONE Has Steven Caple Jr) TWO Seperate Folks... But ROTB Was Inspired By Energon Series & 1986 Film, with Elements From "Robots in Disguise" (2000). To Better Understand Why The #Maximals Are Involved, Rewatch: #BeastWars S1E25 and 26; (#OtherVoices Parts 1 and 2) Along with S2E1; "Coming Of The Fuzors", #DoubleDinobot, Maximal, No More" & "Code Of A Hero"(Dinobots Death). Along with: "Bad Spark" & The Tragic Tale Of "Transmutate". As Look👀, ONLY "Age Of Extinction" & "The Last Knight" Were TRULY Trash🗑 But I Blame Nerdy🤓 #Scriptwriters Who Wanted #TheKnightsTemplar? Along with Casting Marky-Mark!! MOST #Dinobots Were GREAT...Except For Strafe and Having BabyDinos?? There Was Even A Green #Slag (Stegosaurus) Toy! WHERE WAS HE? Lorenzo Hints At Future: "MORE Maximals & A NEW Villian You Allready Know... But Seen in A Different Way." Like I've BEEN Saying: BW Megs, But NOT As A T-Rex!! Why Do Soo MANY Dislike Lorenzo? The Man CLEARLY Has Passion For Structure & Continuity, As Opposed To Folks Crapping Out Remakes! Sure, Bayverse May Have Had Some Issues...But They CERTAINLY AREN'T Disney! Look, NBE-01 IS STILL ON ICE⛄. While The Predacon Version is STILL Being Tooled; As They Haven't Decided WHICH Version To Use? At ONE POINT, He Was Slated To Be A Dragon🐉and YES, We Could Have EASILY Re-Rendered Autobot; #Dragonstorm with A Mashup Of AOE; #Grimlock s Head. https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Dragonstorm Basicly Doing An Homage To BOTH #Shenron & PR-RedDragon #ThunderZord (#Serpentera). Look, MOST Screenplays Are Written By WRITERS...NOT Producers! Producers Help Pay For Films & Hire Writers & Directors. Whereas Distributors Market Films To Various Areas/Countries! Lorenzo & #TomSanto Have ALWAYS Been Producers On ALL The Live-Action Transformer Films, Since 2005; When Hasbro GAVE #TomSanto The Film Rights, Providing That Spielberg Was Involved. Spielberg Was The One Who Recommended Bay & Left Due To Shia & Megan's Rather Controversial Anti-Semetic & Lewd Remarks Torwards BOTH Directors? https://youtu.be/gTbOBL5CEhc