"Barbie🛍" Spoiler Review

Previous Animated Entries: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Barbie_films NOTE: This Film Was NOT Made
For Modern Gen-Y OR Gen-Z Girls.
As It Takes Place in 1993 &
Contains #Homage's To 70's-90's &
is FILLED with #AdultHumor!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie_(film) Yes, The 1st 3-Minutes Was
PURE AWESOMENESS; Smash
Those Big Dumb Doll Babies👶!
Then The Next Minute Was
SHEER TERROR😱. Then Back To
Being Cool😎By Explaining How NO
ONE RLY Liked Preggo🤰Midge😂Doll.

Ken: "I Can Totally Beach🌴You Off"
SimuLiu: "Only in Your Dreams, Ken."
Ken: "👐; Why Don't You
Go Beach🌴YOURSELF OFF?"
#SimuLiu: "I Can Beach🌴 BOTH
Of You Off At The Same Time!"
Barbie🛍: "NO ONES GONNA BEACH🌴 ANYONE-OFF, OKAY👌!"
DocBabe:"It's Not Broken💔 At All.
(Pats Head) And What A GOOD
JOB You Do At The Beach🌴!"
Barbie🛍: "OMG; I Could Die...Dancing💃!
SimuLiu: (Flips) "Betcha Can't
Do A Move Like THAT, Ken!"
DocBabe: "Hurry-Up You Two...
(Grining) The Presidents Here!"
Barbie🛍: (in-Bed🛌) "Night-Night
Barbies...I'm Totally NOT🚫 Thinking
About Death⚰️Anymore!"

(Then The Next Morning🌄,
EVERYTHING Goes Wrong...)
Barbie🛍: "I Can't Fit Into My Heels?"
DocBabe: (DeepVoice) "FLAT FEET👣!"
(Another #Barbie🛍 Tells The Story
Of A ONCE Perfect Barbie🛍 Which
Had Been Tortured By Her Girl).
Cue: "Spice Up Your Life" Song.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/22/business/barbie-dolls-weird-launches/index.html
UglyBarb: "What's Cooking,
Good Looking? Welcolme To My
WeirdHouse...Sorry About The Dog🐕
Crap💩. What Can I Do For You?"
Barbie🛍: "I Uh...Have #FlatFeet👣 &
Well (Whispers) Thoughts Of Death⚰️."
UglyBarb: "THOUGHTS OF DEATH ⚰️.
Sounds Like YOU'VE Opened A
Portal🌀 & NOW There's A Rift➰
Between The Continuum🌌 Of
#BarbieWorld & #TheRealWorld🌎!"
(UglyBarb Convinces Matrix-Style,
Then Offers Her A Morphing Car🚗🚤)

Construction👷Workers: (Whistle)
"Hey Babe, How You Doin'?"
Barbie🛍: "I Am Here To Inform
You That I DO NOT Have A Vagina🍑,
Oh & He DOES NOT Have A Penis🍌
Either. WE DO NOT Have #Genitals🍓."
Ken: "Wait...No, I-I Have Genitals🍒!"
#Construction👷Workers: "Hey Man...
That's Okay👍. You Do You✌!"
Basicly The 1st 33-Minutes
Was PURE Pink💗Awesomeness!
(Including: #HariNef As DocBabe
& #JohnCena🏋As Merman🧜🏼‍♂️; Ken)

(BTW; OldLady On Bench Was
Costume👘Designer; #AnnRoth!)
https://www.huffpost.com/entertainment/topic/greta-gerwig,
Allthough EVERYTHING Involving
The #Mattel Aspect; Including
Ruined Some Parts Of The Film! EXCEPT:
For "Ken's #MojoDojo CasaHouse🏠"
It Suffers The EXACT Same
Problem As #Ghostbusters 2016;
Yep, #KateMcKinnon...WHY??

Alan, Sasha & #WeirdBarbie Ruined
The Rest & Yet The Ken Dance-Off's
Give #Xanadu A Run For It's Glory!
Of Note: #RheaPearlman Plays
#RuthHandler: Barbie🛍 & Ken's
Creator, Who Literally Named
Them After Her 2-Children.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruth_Handler, Though Her Son DID Have
Offspring👪; He Was Unsure Of
His Own #SexualIdentity👬 &
He Sadly😣Died Of AIDS💉in 1994.

Allthough It DOES Have A
VERY CLEAR Message: Find YOUR
OWN Unique & Individual Identity.
Don't Let Some Lame #Corperate
Suit👔Tell You How To Dress👘.
While "Ideas & Items #Outlive Us,
We Only Have One Life To Live."
But Still, "WE Are ALL #Kenough".